WRITING STYLE: 4.5/5
“After a year or after 40 years of marriage, a divorce is a divorce. It comes with a gaggle of emotions, all the stuff that overwhelms you and stops you from seeing straight – guilt, shame, embarrassment, regret, anger, bitterness, shock, denial, acceptance, sadness, grief.”
They say marriage is a necessary evil but then so is divorce, at least in some cases to which it applies. Marriage is tough but divorce is tougher. Often people stay in dysfunctional marriages for years, for the fear of society, the uncertainty of the future and simply because they don’t know how to live alone. But then sometimes, choices aren’t easy; they aren’t about staying in your comfort zone even at the cost of your happiness. It is in such situations that divorce is a must but this is something easier said than done.
About the book
Madhuri’s book Untying the Fine Knots is an all-encompassing comprehensive guide to divorce. It is written with an aim to help anyone who is going through the painful and traumatizing phase of divorce. In the book, the author writes in a simple language and helps the reader understand the subtle intricacies of the many problems which come along with divorce.
The book is written in a manner which is simple yet philosophical. Madhuri starts the book with a little introduction about her own divorce and how she sailed through it. This I believe is really helpful, because for the people who are really going to read this book, this proves that the author speaks from her own experience; it removes the unseen barrier between the reader and the author.
The book in detail
The book is neatly divided into 6 sections – Emotions: Get a Hold on Them, Dealing with the Ex, Where are the Children? The Society, Going to Court, and Payments & Child Custody. Thus, right from emotional support to an agony aunt to a guidance counsellor to a legal advisor, this book plays all the relevant roles. In Untying the Fine Knots, Madhuri explains in great details the step by step rational approach to a divorce.
Speaking from her own experience she understands the raw emotions that anyone going through divorce experiences and hence as a first step she counsels on how to not get carried away with them. If anything, she says, they will only aggravate the pain and suffering of the already difficult process.
“We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it” – Rick Warren
There are many things which make this book a good read on the subject. For firsts, Untying the Fine Knots gives you plenty of examples of various people in similar situations and in that sense, it makes you learn and understand by the way of examples. Second, the book also tells you about what other famous people and books have said on the subject being spoken. This is really important I believe because in this way the reader is able to gain knowledge and help from the best of all works. Thirdly, the book talks about divorce from an Indian’s perspective and that makes a lot of difference too.
Each chapter is full of inspirational and philosophical quotes which make the book an interesting and thought-provoking one. One example is the famous quote from Kahlil Gibran which is mentioned in the section Where are the Children? The famous quote says
“Your children are not your children, they are sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.”
This quote is one of the many quotes which helps put a lot of things (discussed in the book) in perspective.
Madhuri’s language is rich and breezy yet it cannot be called complicated. At the end of the book, she drives home new information which will assist the reader in decision making and in dealing with the situation overall. It is inspiring for it shows that there is light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to have the courage and patience to cross the tunnel and find it.
To sum it all
Overall, the book taught me a lot of things and I think it will be really helpful to someone dealing with or about to deal with divorce. I, therefore, recommend the book to all people who find it relevant hoping at the same time that the need to read this book may never arise in any one’s life.
Want to grab a copy? Buy Untying the Fine Knots from the link below!